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9.25.2012

{a bullet, an obese lady & some poop}

We're home. 
But not without a little excitement in my life.
Let me break down my travel experience yesterday for you all...

Brody and I had just gotten to airport security. 
I took him out of the backpack and sent all of our things through the scanner.
Brody got a glimpse of some of his food, and HAD to have it.
Of course he couldn't because it was going through the scanner.
That meant tears. Lots of them.

Finally, they came out the other end and I quickly opened up a fruit pouch for him, 
while I started gathering our things.
One of the airport workers grabbed the backpack Brody had been in, and asked if it was mine.
Obviously it was.
I was pretty confused as to what the issue might be, 
because I had only packed diapers in the back of it.

As I was finishing putting my shoes on, another TSA worker had come over.
I over heard her ask, "are you sure that's what it is?"
To which the guy responded, "yes!"
Me, in my brain, "wtf?"

As I went over, they proceeded to pull a bullet out of the backpack.
Yes, a freaking bullet. At airport security.
Thanks hubby.

Last time we had used the backpack was when we took it hiking up into the mountains.
According to my hubby, when you're in the wilderness you need protection.
Bears. Mountain Lions. Wolves. 
Don't worry, we never had to use it.

As you can imagine, a bullet at airport security doesn't go over real well.
Pretty soon a cop was there too.
They had to file reports, take pictures, etc, etc.
Oh, and my child was still grouchy.

Thirty minutes later I start hearing over the loud speaker that it was the final boarding call for my flight to Boise. 
I informed the nice airport people that this was the case, but they didn't seem to care much.
They were too busy checking my non-existent criminal record.

Pretty soon, it was my name that was being called over the loud speaker,
telling me that this was my last chance. 
Security finally cleared me, and handed me the backpack, my boarding pass and license.
There was NO time to put any of these things in the appropriate places, so with my hands FULL,
I ran down to my gate.
And I barely made it.
No seriously, I thought I was going to pass out.

Walking in late to the very back of a plane that is already full
is like the walk of shame.
Oh, and it just gets worse....

As I get to my seats, 
{I had the nice lady that printed out my boarding pass block out the seat next to me since it wasn't a completely full flight}
 there is only one seat.
I must have looked kind of confused, and the lady sitting there asked where I was.
I told her in row 19.
She responded with, "oh, well, if it's ok with you I'll just stay here."
{Mind you, there was an empty seat behind her.}
To which I should have responded, "um, NO, that's not ok with me. Move to YOUR seat."
But instead my flustered self responded with, "that's up to you... he's really wiggly {pointing to Brody}"
She didn't move.
Oh, and did I mention that this lady who was in my seat was obese!? 
Well, she was. 
And stinky.
So instead of having two seats for Brody and I, we had 1/2 of a seat.
Wait... it's not over yet....

Brody get's a million gold stars for being the best flying toddler around,
he was truly amazing. 
However... he did decide mid-flight to poop himself! Ugh.

I asked the very nice flight attendant {whom Brody had been flirting with}
if there was an ideal place to change his diaper.
This just happened to be one of the newer planes with a changing table.
Lucky us.
Uh, I actually wouldn't really call it a changing table.
Airplane bathrooms are small enough as it is,
and this "changing table" was about 20 inches long.
Oh, and there was turbulence. 
We got the job done though,
and walked back to our belching obese seat mate.
Disgusting.

To say that I was happy to get home, is an understatement.
Brody was more than excited to see his daddy too.


And it's sugar beet harvest. Hollerrrr.



ps. if you haven't entered the September group giveaway, get on it.


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7 comments:

  1. oh dear. i'm so sorry and i felt every ounce of pain you experienced. you know i wouldn't have been as nice as you were. that's why i keep you as a friend.

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  2. Oh wow!! I cannot imagine! I'm so glad that you made it to your plane...you are much nicer than me with your large seat mate too! Points for you for sure!

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  3. lord, i was stressed out for you...some people just need amaze me, I can't believe she didn't take the hint and move seats! Kinda made me wish Brody had been a bad traveler, just to annoy her back ;)

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  4. Oh my gosh! I totally would have told that woman that she needed to move. Haha

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  5. OMG, that is horrible. I don't know if I would have been able to keep it together.

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  6. I would have definitely told the lady she needed to move esp after having dealt with the bullet situation. I would have been on the edge of losing it. haha

    xoxo,
    Melissa

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  7. the title of this post alone told me we'd be great blogging buddies - your travel experience recap confirmed it. Happy to be following along now :)

    Jenny

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